Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
we're so committed to being not committed
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