yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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