who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
