She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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