you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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