he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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