Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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