Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
