Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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