she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
