I could have mohawked her pubes.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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