oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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