oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize