I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
