Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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