I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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