You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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