hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
