i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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