hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
