I bet he comes in French.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
