So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
