Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I had to cum in my sink.
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