I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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