I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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