how can u be prego again
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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