do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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