This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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