no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
