I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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