So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize