I'm really into asian looking animals
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i out mim tonsoeep
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
