I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
