I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dignity is for republicans.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
