Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize