I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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