I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
