garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
operation have a gay friend backfired
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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