She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
