i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
