i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
