i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
