I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
