I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
