She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize