Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
