Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize