can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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