Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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