I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
