I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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