NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
