how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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