I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize