How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
