To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
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