tell your sister to shave her snatch
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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