i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
should my penis look like a turkey
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
