I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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