i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
