i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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