OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
