So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
