I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
