Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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