Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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